Also, evades her abusive husband and the law. Mariah finally sticks to her New Years' resolution to journal more.
Highlight: I think Mariah might have founded "Yaaasss!" Mariah sings on a rooftop and next to a stairwell. This music video settles the did-her-label-run-out-of-money-in-1993 question. Highlight: The way Mariah hams it up, no matter the circumstance: Directed by and starring Mariah's ex Nick Cannon, this video begins with "This is the love story of Nick and Mariah" and ends with "Happy anniversary, Nick and Mariah." You can imagine everything in between.except for the cute Hello Kitty band-aid Mariah has on. This takes self-indulgent to a new level. Mariah watches fan videos about overcoming adversity and then freaks out in the rain. Highlight: Only Mariah could put a random bikini photoshoot in a music video about the dearly departed and get away with it: Half memorial, half look-y'all-I'm-dating-Nick-Cannon! Highlight: The two tears that made it out of Mariah's tear ducts, despite all the effort to keep them imprisoned. And her performance forecasts the acting prowess we later see from her in Precious. She really doesn't want to cry.but she does. A majority of this video involves a distraught Mariah looking broken as she sits next to empty picture frames and random candles, hats and lamps. Whoever directed this video puts a sepia filter on all his/her Instagrams. Highlight: I wonder if dogs love or hate Mariah's whistle: This music video is a shout out to all the times you were bored in church as a child. Highlight: I don't think Mariah knows where she is: Mariah lets Rick Ross and Meek Mill take over her own video, relegating her to a role as the girl who holds up signs at a boxing match. Highlight: Pay phone drama! No word on whether it was outside of a Best Buy or not: You know it's bad when the highlights are a phone that's swinging off the hook and a silver locket being washed away by a bored wave. And we don't want to be here watching this uninspired video. "I don't want to be here," Mariah sings listlessly on a beach. Highlight: From now on, I'm only talking on the phone while reclining on the hood of a car: If you must praise the lord in a song, at least do it with the Backstreet Boys. Highlight: Her hand choreography is unparalleled:
#MARIAH CAREY HERO LIVE 1995 MOVIE#
Only, this time, there's footage from a James Franco movie no one saw. This is essentially the same video as "Can't Let Go," 22 years later. Next time you're suffering from insomnia, use this as a sleep aid. And that's the most exciting thing that happens (other than the video ending). This music video begins with hands opening to reveal a white rose. Highlight: This fan's defeated reach for Mariah, perfectly timed to "No one reaches out a hand for you to hold:" Did her record label run out of money in 1993 or something? It's cute to see some of the awestruck people in the audience, but zzzzz. What did I just say about concert videos? These songs deserve so much more than this. Mariah performs in a CGI baseball field, while super creepy extras look on. Highlight: This champagne walk and talk is what Ariana Grande's entire career is based on. Highlight: Luther Vandross' I'm-either-going-to-murder-or-have-sex-with-you eyes:īasically the same thing as the Luther Vandross video, but with a drenched Mariah and a newborn puppy! You know it's bad when you start longing for Michael Bolton. Note: Some computers just couldn't handle all this Mariah so look for page numbers at the bottom of the post to navigate through Mariah's career. This is not a judgment on the songs themselves so save your tweets.
The following is a ranking from worst to best, based on a not-so-scientific formula that factors in storyline, aesthetic and whether the video inspires me to throw up praise hands or not. Some takeaways: Mariah loves small animals, Christmas, singing in the rain, journaling, picking up children, getting revenge, playing evil brunettes, gesturing with her fingers, waving at the camera, and crying single tears for dramatic purposes. What better way to show appreciation for 25 years worth of artistic output than to watch every music video Mariah has produced (minus remixes and feature spots on other people's songs because I have to eventually get back to my life)?
I could go on, but this post is already going to be super long so I won't. Why does she deserve it? Oh, maybe because she wrote every song she's released (minus the covers), has sold more than 200 million records worldwide, holds the title for most weeks at #1 (16) and has had 18 #1 singles (only the Beatles have more at 20). Last week, Mariah received her long-overdue Hollywood Walk of Fame star.